A cold in July,

much like eating styrofoam,

is fucking stupid.

Sharpie in one hand,
egg in the other. Might be
time to get a job.

Goatees are mostly

worn by villains and frat guys.

Either way: douchbags.

I don't really know

quite what they mean when they say,

"Mind your Ps and Qs."

The kids behave so

much better at daycare, what

with that new teacher.

In the South it seems

the Sun hates us and wants us

to die horribly.

The Monster's not gone.

I can still hear it breathing.

It's kind of sexy.

He may be fuzzy,

but no one who knows what's up

fucks with Anarchat.

I wasn't surprised

when at last I gazed upon

Ann Coulter's true face.

Mimosas are great.
Drinking in the morning is
suddenly classy!

Faux-Hawk Frankenstein,
with his neck-bolts and douche-hair,
has had a sad day.

Sure, AI went wrong.
But, admit it: Spider-Bot
Shreds a wicked Axe.

Keyboard made his move.
Mouse never saw it coming.
Always was a dope.

Everything exists

for a reason.  As for me?

I'm here to bust rhymes.

The man with the beard

has rage in his burning eyes

and cute little ears.

The surprised waiter
was just glad to still have his
pants after all that.

Gardening is fun,
but take care to avoid the
Garden Mafia.

That damned coffee cup.
It's staring at me again.
It judges harshly.

Ah, shit. A mushroom.
I hate those sleazy douches.
Not to be racist. . . .

That's not gonna help.

It's not more Jesus we need,

It's cars that don't suck.

(inspired by andy)